Improbability is in the Details

2009 Spec the Halls Winners!

Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:53:18 GMT

(I didn't post this in a timely fashion because I found myself with 10 minutes on a dial-up connection during a Christmas gathering with my in-laws--email notification went out, but not much else.)

Note from the editor

Merry Christmas! (Or other seasonal holiday of your choice, handling charges may apply.) If you're reading this email, it means I survived the perilous road-trip-into-a-Wisconsin-blizzard that I'm about to go on once I've finished drafting this email. Last time we tried this, we were attacked by deer--and we drive a small enough car that the deer could take us. Apparently I have survived! Time to count my blessings and enjoy reading some holiday speculative fiction.

Happy holidays,

Abra Staffin-Wiebe, Editor

2009 Spec the Halls Winner!

What effect would destroying a cultural icon with the galactic significance of Santa Claus have on the Multiverse? Virginia of the Multiversal Time Protection Unit is determined not to find out.

Zombie Elves
by Sue Penkivech

Granted, we’d encountered some odd attempts to alter the history of Earth time/space 227, but this had to be the most ridiculous yet.

“Oh come now, where’s your Christmas spirit?” Douglas asked, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he picked up his period-appropriate pipe from the end table, and pressed the button that made it give off convincing though completely non-carcinogen-containing smoke. There were limits to what even he was willing to endure in the name of historical accuracy, and to my relief authentic tobacco was apparently outside them.

Still, it was a filthy habit. “I think it disappeared the moment you mentioned “zombie elves,” I countered. Sniffing indignantly at the pipe – I was becoming increasingly suspicious that Douglas smoked it less for authenticity than because he was developing a genuine affection for the habit – I got up from my chair and paced over to the sideboard, where I poured several finger-widths of sherry into a glass. The occasion certainly seemed to call for it. Honestly. I knew the Victorian era of Earth 227 was of particular interest to historians, given the way the American Uprising of 1775 had played out, but attempting to modify it by assaulting a cultural icon with the galactic significance of Father Christmas was just too much. Moreover, given St. Nick’s practically unique status as a non-sequential temporal-spatial anomaly, rendering him ineffectual in one timeline would cause a cascade effect throughout the others, causing irreparable havoc throughout all of space-time.

Read more.

Read all recommended submissions.
Read all submissions.

2009 Spec the Halls Honorable Mention!

Medusa's Holiday
by M.M. Bergstrom

Here upon an evening dreary
Though all the world is wet and weary
I bundle up my head of snakes
To deliver all my Yuletide cakes

For legends aught to be polite
If just for one sad, starless night
The going is quite tough and slow
For snakes move poorly in the snow
Read more.

Read all recommended submissions.
Read all submissions.

Holiday Tip
Enjoy.

Handy Links
Abra Staffin Wiebe's main webpage
Abra Staffin Wiebe's blog
Aswiebe's Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Market List
Spec the Halls Main Page - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html
Submission Guidelines - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/guidelines.html
Recommended Submissions - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/recommended.html
All Submissions - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/submissions.html
FAQ - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/faq.html

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Spec the Halls: A Winter Celebration of the Weird and the Fantastic
http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html

Spec the Halls Newsletter 2009-3

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:12:59 GMT

Note from the editor

It's easy to think that this is the time for a last-minute flurry of activity to get everything done before Christmas. Nope. Now is the time to relax, breathe deeply, and enjoy what the holidays bring--the wondrous, the hilarious, and the "Well, at least this will make a good story later." Patience, good humor, and a sense of the absurd is essential equipment.

As is typical at this time, I've received more submissions I'd like to recommend than the ones I've excerpted here, so go enjoy them!

Happy holidays,

Abra Staffin-Wiebe, Editor

Recommended Submissions

When new recruit Ferris arrives on a planet ruled by an abundance of chlorophyll and mysterious aliens, he finds that all he can think about is Christmas back on earth.
A Green Christmas
by Jon C. Forisha

The snow was green because damn near everything on the planet was green. It had an abundance of chlorophyll – something like four hundred percent the amount found on earth (though, as the almost unending flurry of skeptics would point out, how the devil is someone supposed to measure that?) – which is what had sent NASA’s long-reaching grubby little fingers all the way out there. So much chlorophyll that even the water was forever tinted. Padnig had been there for three years and he was still marveling at it.

“So what’s Christmas like here?” I asked, still not entirely used to the way my voice echoed inside the suit when I talked.

“Nothing like home, I can tell you that right now. The first year of the mission here, we kept up a Christmas tree for a good portion of the year. I guess it was an attempt at making the place feel more like earth, but since then no one’s really tried.”

I had heard much the same during my training, but it didn’t make it any less depressing. My father was a minister for most of his adult life, and even though I didn’t identify myself as the most active Christian, Christmas still held something special for my family and I.

“Anyway, man, you won’t be missing Christmas too much once you see the Elves.”

I had heard of the Elves, too. “Those are real?”

“Real as my kidney stones five years back, man. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll meet them before too long.” Padnig grinned through his suit and motioned for me to follow him back to the bunker.

Read all submissions.

Chris, having lost wife and son, tries to recreate the joy of Christmas.
A Son is Given
by Risa Wolf

Chris had never been one for Christmas celebrations. It had seemed gaudy and somehow selfish until Sarah came along. Sarah had loved all aspects of Christmas with unparalleled joy. The tinsel, the lights, the month of religious milestones, the pine smell, the cookie-baking, the red-and-green color scheme, the angels, the celebratory hymns – she had adored it all. Midnight between Christmas Eve and Christmas had been a magical time for both of them. Sarah would have finished all of her preparations, and she would kneel down in front of a bank of candles or, once they bought their house, the fireplace to sing her favorite carols. Chris, caught in the moment and struck with dumb love at the look of delight on her face, would follow along. Each time Chris had lit the next Sunday candle in the advent wreath, the memory of Sarah bending over them, her brown eyes shining, was a soft, sweet punch in the stomach.

No time for tears, Chris thought sternly, and turned back to the decorations. Everything was laid out in their boxes, all labeled with Sarah's precise block capitals, firmly taped with Chris' omnipresent duct tape. Sarah had packed away the Christmas decorations with more care than she had packed their old apartment. Once Chris had asked her what it was she liked about Christmas.
Read more at Spec the Halls Recommended Submissions.
Read all submissions.

Holiday Tips and Links

If Christmas brings out your crafty side, you might try some of these DIY gifts: http://lifehacker.com/5425406/diy-gift-ideas-from-the-lifehacker-archives
Travel safe by making sure you have a winter emergency kit in your car: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/2009/12/20/fifteen-things-to-have-in-your-car-this-winter/
For the easiest holiday decorating of ever, change your computer wallpaper: http://lifehacker.com/5426177/

SF/F/H Winter Holiday Contest

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:17:10 GMT

x-posted a little, for obvious reasons
Spec the Halls, my contest for winter holiday-themed science fiction, fantasy, or horror (stories, poetry, art, or other creative works), closes to submissions Friday, December 18th. So far we have only a dozen or so submissions, so if you submit a good piece, the odds of winning are relatively high! Or go there to enjoy the entries. http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html Spec the Halls: A Winter Celebration of the Weird and the Fantastic http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html

Spec the Halls Newsletter 2009-2

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:55:23 GMT

Note from the editor

Hello, my name is Abra Staffin-Wiebe, and I think I have a problem. With eggnog. I can't help myself. I see it in the stores, enticing me with it's sweet, rich deliciousness, and I can't resist. Ah, well, at least it's only available for part of the year--and there are worse things than an "addiction" to nog.

Speaking of when things are available, remember that this weekend is pretty much the deadline for ordering gifts and being able to receive them by standard mail. Many places are also offering free shipping right now--and if it's not mentioned on their website, you can always check RetailMeNot.com to see if there are discounts available.

Happy holidays,

Abra Staffin Wiebe, Editor

Recommended Submissions

Madeline and her son found a new home just in time for Christmas. It seems idyllic, friendly, snowy, and picturesque, but the land is animated in ways that defy logic.
Snow Walker

“This town would never have been here if it hadn’t been for a trade.” Norma, the tall masculine-appearing librarian announced this over her teacup.

“Well, I suppose that’s true. Our town does owe the Indians, but at what cost?” Linda the next door neighbor sighed.

“They thought the land was cursed.” Norma explained.

Evelyn jumped in excitedly. “They said the rocks were cursed with the power to animate things. That’s how the windigos came about, you know? Animals wandering the rock quarries, picking up the energy and transforming.” Her eyebrows wiggled dramatically.
Read more at Spec the Halls Recommended Submissions.
Read all submissions.

Medusa's Holiday

Here upon an evening dreary
Though all the world is wet and weary
I bundle up my head of snakes
To deliver all my Yuletide cakes
Read more at Spec the Halls Recommended Submissions.
Read all submissions.

Holiday Tips and Links

Christmas Tree Care 101 - http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/photos/0,,20323425,00.html
For something a lot less practical, a funny rant about online shopping delivered by a profane squirrel: http://www.illwillpress.com/ONSHOP22.html

Handy Links
Abra Staffin Wiebe's main webpage
Abra Staffin Wiebe's blog
Aswiebe's Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Market List
Spec the Halls Main Page - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html
Submission Guidelines - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/guidelines.html
Recommended Submissions - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/recommended.html
All Submissions - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/submissions.html
FAQ - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/faq.html

You have been added to this list by your request or because you submitted an entry to the Spec the Halls contest. Please add specthehalls@gmail.com to your contacts list to ensure that you receive emails. From now to Christmas, you will receive the Spec the Halls weekly email, containing contest news and featured submissions. You are encouraged to forward these emails in their entirety to other individuals you believe may be interested either in reading the contest entries or in submitting an entry themselves. Spread the holiday cheer...the strange, twisted, weird holiday cheer. To unsubscribe, send an email to specthehalls@gmail.com with "Unsubscribe" in the subject line.

--
Spec the Halls: A Winter Celebration of the Weird and the Fantastic
http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html

Spec the Halls Newsletter 2009-1

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:49:00 GMT

Note from the editor

It's officially Christmas season! Although (most) stores have been stocking Christmas items since slightly before Halloween, now it's possible to start celebrating without the danger of feeling a little bit shamefaced about giving in to the consumer propaganda and shortchanging less profitable holidays. Hopefully this will help get you in the mood.

Happy holidays!

Recommended Submissions

Two warriors face a black day.
The Horde

The horde stood before the gates. The old warrior’s face was etched with worry as he watched the gathering mass. All the clans had gathered for this assault, yellow, red, black, and white. They wore their varied insignia, breathing out an expectant mist at the white cold dawn as they hungrily eyed the castle.

The old warrior looked at the younger man beside him. Young Fool, he thought, you have no idea of the violence about to break through those gates!
Read more at Spec the Halls Recommended Submissions.
Read all submissions.

Some would say that it's impossible for Santa to do everything he's supposed to. But it might just be entirely unlikely.
Tis the Season to Be...
I have only a little time before my errands (it said). The cat, the collective misunderstanding of millions of high school physics students, twines about my legs while lying dead on the hearth, mewling softly. I don't count for him - or he for me - no matter how much we look at each other. He meows again, and I pour a saucer of milk for him. I'm sick of milk and cookies - a hot coffee and muhallebi would suit me better - but I keep the stuff around for the cat.
Read more at Spec the Halls Recommended Submissions.
Read all submissions.

Holiday Tips and Links

If you're scared of that recipe for Turkey Dinner Muffins, why not Let Leftovers Be Leftovers? (Slate)
Here are some lovely wintery computer wallpapers. (Lifehacker)
Real Simple has an easy idea for displaying Christmas cards
--and a cookie recipe of the day email newsletter.

Handy Links
Abra Staffin Wiebe's main webpage
Abra Staffin Wiebe's blog
Aswiebe's Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror Market List
Spec the Halls Main Page - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html
Submission Guidelines - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/guidelines.html
Recommended Submissions - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/recommended.html
All Submissions - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/submissions.html
FAQ - http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls/faq.html

You have been added to this list by your request or because you submitted an entry to the Spec the Halls contest. From now to Christmas, you will receive the Spec the Halls weekly email, containing contest news and featured submissions. You are encouraged to forward these emails in their entirety to other individuals you believe may be interested either in reading the contest entries or in submitting an entry themselves. Spread the holiday cheer...the strange, twisted, weird holiday cheer. To unsubscribe, send an email to specthehalls@gmail.com with "Unsubscribe" in the subject line.

--
Spec the Halls: A Winter Celebration of the Weird and the Fantastic
http://www.aswiebe.com/specthehalls.html

Spec the Halls Contest Opens Soon!

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 20:40:14 GMT

Welcome back to Spec the Halls !

Spec the Halls is a contest for speculative winter holiday-themed fiction, artwork, and poetry. The holiday may be fictional or real; it may be Christmas or Yuletide as we know and love it, or it may be something much stranger.

Submissions open November 1st, and the earlier you submit, the more likely your submission is to be a featured submission! And you should submit, since this is still a relatively small contest, which means your odds of winning are good. Not that you'd be that calculating and cold-blooded, of course.

The contest guidelines remain essentially the same as last year, though the prize amount has increased. To refresh your memory, read the guidelines.

Post about this contest! Spread the holiday cheer...the strange, twisted, weird holiday cheer.

You can sign up for the weekly-ish newsletter sent from mid-November to Christmas, at the Spec the Halls website.

Or if you prefer, these newsletters will also be duplicated in an RSS feed spun off from my blog at:
http://cloudscudding.livejournal.com/data/rss?tag=specnews